Adjust Your Focus & Language to Live the Life of Your Dreams
In my March post I talked about the power of the Triad and how it impacts our energy state (how we feel in any given moment). I talked about how the state we’re in produces certain behaviors and actions, and these actions can take us closer or further away from our goals and the life we want to live.
We have the power to control how we feel in any given moment by changing any one of the components of this triad (but for max results, work on all three). The triad includes physiology, focus and language. In my April post, I wrote all about the physiology component. Now it’s time to talk about the last two components of focus and language :-)
Focus:
You may have heard the phrase “Where focus goes, energy flows,” or maybe the quote “change your thoughts, change your world”. These sayings have been floating around more and more lately because we’re finding it to be the truth! That last one is up on the wall at our PT clinic, and I’m so glad it is! Oprah said “What you focus on expands. When you focus on the goodness in life, you create more of it”! Thanks O!
When we focus on something that feels less than good, we tend to feel less than good. And when we focus on something that feels good, we feel good.
Think about it: How do you feel when you watch the news? Probably not very happy...maybe even a little angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, etc? And on the flip side, how do you feel when you’re watching a youtube video where a baby is laughing from it’s gut for a minute straight?! Prolly pretty darn great as you laugh right along with them, right?! What you focus on influences how you feel in the present moment.
All emotions have their place and purpose, I truly believe that. And that is a whole ‘notha blog post on it’s own. But for now, the goal is to remind ourselves that we have the choice in how we feel, and in order to feel the way we desire to feel, we must (and get to!) consciously choose what we focus on. When we feel good, we are in a resourceful state, and our behaviors, creativity and actions align with the life and projects we desire to create.
The other part of focus includes the questions we ask ourselves. When we ask better questions, we get better answers. If we ask ourselves “how can I accomplish this?” our brain will search for the solution and deliver the best answer when the time is right.
So when you can, focus on the solution. Focus on moving forward. Focus on the next step. Focus on the future you desire to create. Focus on the good and joy that is in your present moment and life. Focus on what you’re grateful for and appreciate now, right here in this moment. And notice how you feel, and what transpires in your life :-)
Language:
Then, there’s language, the last point of the The Triad to change your state.
Conscious use of how we use our language, the words we choose, etc, is something I’ve been consciously working on personally, with my patients and with my clients for the past 4 years. I now cringe when I hear the phrase ‘I can’t’ and work on reframing this phrase whenever it comes up. When we were little, we probably had teachers and/or parents who told us not to say that.
This sounds obvious, but I don’t think a lot of us realize it: the words we use and say to ourselves are giving direct messages to our brain, which in turn, influences our body and the outcomes of our actions. As the famous saying goes “whether you think you can or you can, you’re right” (from Mr. Henry Ford) tells us that the thoughts and words we choose end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. So let’s choose mindfully my friend.
Let me take you back to what I consider to have been a bit of a stressful time in my life about 4 years go, when I was preparing to take my board exam to become a PT, and how I used these tools of focus and language to pass my boards on the first go around... and actually enjoy the journey.
I wanted to do EVERYTHING in my power to pass this test during my first round. It meant 1) not retaking it (4-6 hour test I think, I only wanted to take it once), 2) not repaying to retake it (money I could use on something else) and 3) I got to start work as a PT sooner.
One of the first things I remember doing a month before the test was writing “I am going to ACE my PT board exam” on my white board in my room. That was my focus touchstone. Anytime I was studying and felt overwhelm or doubt creep in, I looked up at what I wrote, felt the feelings badassery, refocused, then got back to work, with an “I totally got this” loop playing in my head to get me back into the zone.
I took 4 practice tests that mimicked the actual test in time, and in amount/quality of questions. With each question, I trained myself to focus on it and get straight to figuring it out, not allowing my mind to wander, vs heading down the path of “oh gawd, I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know! Why are these questions so specific? How does this even apply to where I’ll be working? I know I’m going to get this answer wrong. I wonder how many other questions I’ve already gotten wrong. Am I even going to pass this test this round? If I don’t pass this time, what am I going to do, I can’t even register to retake it for another 3 months, and…..” oh you know, snowballing. We’ve all been there, I’m sure.
So how do you stop this snowballing?
Anytime any of that would start up, I practiced catching myself, saying ‘I got this, ok, let’s figure this out Jasmine.’ That’s literally what I would say to myself when a challenging question would pop up or my focus wandered. I consciously choose to practice refocusing my attention to the point that it became a habit to direct my focus on figuring out the solution and talking to myself as if I were my own coach. So it takes both of these things stop snowballing: choice and practicing of redirecting your focus/language.
If we talk to ourselves as we would our own best friends, we become our own best friends in the process, and we end up figuring out what we want to figure out, and having fun along the journey.
Physiology, focus and language have the power to get us into a resourceful, empowered state, and that’s where the magic happens.
So now I’'d love to hear from you! Do you have any examples of where focus and language changed how you felt during or about a situation? I’d love to hear! Feel free to comment below or email me at hello@jasmineraecoaching.com
